


Stay

by Ana_Kagetsu



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: A reason to live, Destroy Ending, Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-26
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 11:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1018307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ana_Kagetsu/pseuds/Ana_Kagetsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dying Shepard clings to his memories of Kaidan.  But it will take something more to pull him back from the brink.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> An experimental little piece that came to me around 1am this morning and my brain wouldn't shut up until I had written it down, lol. Small edits for obvious mistakes and a couple phrases needing smoothing, but I'd say about 90% is unchanged from when I wrote it down this morning.
> 
> Slight Canon Divergence assuming a relationship between Shepard and Kaidan in ME1
> 
> You can find me over on [Tumblr](http://anakagetsu.tumblr.com/)

"Stay with me, here, tonight."

Desire and fear. What if he was wrong? What if he had misread the signals? Then, the other man's mouth on his, their bodies lost in one another. They may very well die tomorrow, giving their lives in the mad dash to stop an invasion no one seemed to believe was coming. But tonight they were alive, together.

 

"Leave the Alliance and join me. I need you to stay by my side."

His heart shattered as those beautiful, whiskey brown eyes looked at him with anger and betrayal. Rejection. Distrust. And as his lover walked away from him he was filled with anger and hurt and so much damn love and pride for this man who refused to betray his deepest held principles for anyone, even him. And though he knew he was doing what had to be done, he was ashamed that he couldn't be that strong.

 

"You stay alive, Major. That's an order."

He looked down at the battered body, the eyes that haunted his dreams swollen shut. He couldn't lose him now, not when the fragile trust between them was just beginning to rebuild. There were too many regrets. Too many things that needed to be said. And the relief that flooded him when those eyes opened and the familiar, husky voice said his name was almost too much to bear. Maybe it wasn't too late after all.

 

"You need to go! Stay safe."

That was the hardest of all. Sending him away from the killing ground that was once London. One last look, drinking in the sight of the man he had found, and then lost, and then, by some miracle, found again. A whispered "I love you" and it was his turn to walk away. Racing through the chaos towards what he knew would be, one way or another, the end of his struggle.

 

_"Stay...."_

A flash of violent crimson exploded from the ruined circuitry, engulfing him before blasting outward, racing along the Relays to bathe the galaxy in cleansing fire. And then miraculously, finally, peace. He had done it. He had made his last, gut wrenching choice. The consequences so vast he could barely wrap his mind around it. But it was done. The Reapers were destroyed. The war ended. There was no pain anymore, just darkness and peace and the memory of the most beautiful brown eyes he had ever seen.

 

_"Stay with me.... "_

The words floated in the soothing darkness, tugging at him, pulling him away from the edge of nothingness. It would be so easy to let go. To slip over the precipice and let the cool, peaceful void take him. But that voice. Too whiskey rough to be his own. Too present and insistent to be the ghost of a memory. He turned away from the darkness and tried to fight his way back to that voice.

 

_"Stay with me Shepard."_

Pain. Every nerve in his body sizzled and for a brief moment he almost gave up. Almost let himself slip back into the darkness. But the voice came again. Urging him on. Promising that the pain was worth it. He threw every ounce of will he had left into clawing his way back to the world. Back to the voice and the eyes he knew were behind it. Light flared in the darkness, sending jagged bolts of agony through his head, but it was too late to stop now. Finally, his vision cleared, and the first thing he saw were those eyes. Honey brown and shining. Filled with pain and love and hope. He heard his name fall from lips he knew nearly as well as his own. Better, perhaps, for all the times he'd mapped their contours. There were other sounds: shouts and electronic beeping and the clatter of metal against metal. But all he heard was _his_ voice. There were other sights: doctors and nurses and frantic activity all around him. But all that held his gaze was the man above him, grinning and crying and looking at him with so much love that he thought he must have died after all and this was his heaven.

 

"Kaidan... "

He didn't know if the other man could hear his breathless croak above the chaos in the room around him. But it didn't matter. He'd have time later to say it over and over in tones of love and passion and annoyance and everything in between. Because he knew the darkness had passed. He had something worth staying for.


End file.
